My name is Guyana.

A lot of my friends and loved ones know issues of sexual identity are pretty darn personal for me. I identified as gay/bi during my adolescence, and the turning point for me was becoming an evangelical Christian. I don’t really claim a sexual identity of any sorts anymore, but that’s a long story for another time.

What I will say is that I support same-sex marriage, or marriage equality, as it’s called these days. As a Christian, I haven’t always felt that way. To be honest, for the most part, I avoided that conversation after I became a Christian. I think it’s because I hate the fact that a lot of Christians use sexuality and the politics that surround them as a litmus test for holiness.

In the same vein, a lot of liberals uphold marriage equality as a litmus test for being an educated and fair-minded person. I believe it’s an important civil rights issue, but I also know that people come to different conclusions because of their beliefs about faith, marriage, the role of government, and a whole host of other things. So I don’t think people who don’t support marriage equality are the homophobic monsters the media often make them out to be. I would, however, urge them to reconsider.

I arrived at my convictions about marriage equality in much the same way the president did. I support marriage equality because I support gay families. I believe the law should protect two men or two women who make a life-long commitment to one another. I believe the law should protect their mutual property. I believe the law should protect the mutual custody of their children.

Moreover, I don’t believe Christianity ever thrives when it is assumed or imposed. We see that in history. Jesus didn’t come as an earthly king, and I don’t think he calls his followers to build earthly theocracies.

There’s an evangelical narrative for Christians who’ve left the LGBT community, and it assumes we should look woefully on our lives as LGBT people. Or forget them. Personally, I’m not willing to do either of those things.

Even if I wanted to, I don’t think I could forget the sting of prejudice I felt from the church. I don’t think I could forget the fear of being “found out” as a gay teen. And I can’t forget the silence of those who chose not to speak up for my (then) community’s civil rights.

And I don’t think history will forget it either.

I love the little smirk that slides across my face when I think about how I’m loved by God.

I will not spend all my money on clothes and accessories.

I will not spend all my money on clothes and accessories.

I will not spend all my money on clothes and accessories.

But, but…

I will not spend all my money on clothes and accessories.

But maybe just…

I will not spend all my money on clothes and accessories.

I will not spend all my money on clothes and accessories.

Working on a post about my thoughts on same-sex marriage after Obama’s announcement. I don’t know who exactly reads this blog (prolly like 3 people), but it might be a “coming out” post to some people in my life who don’t know about my experiences with same-sex attraction.

So please pray that God would be glorified and that I would be able to communicate effectively.

Today I extended forgiveness to someone who deeply wounded me and several members of my family. I thought it would be a simple gesture, but God showed me otherwise.

Anyway, I went back and forth about whether or not to call this woman on Mother’s Day (not my mom). But I remembered something I heard someone say recently about how the past is the past because you can’t do anything about it. The future’s a mystery because you don’t know what may come. But now is a gift and that’s why they call it the present. Cheesy, right? But it made me think about how this woman who’s meant so much to me may not be around next Mother’s Day.

So I called, and I could tell that we’d both had time to consider how we’d offended one another. It’s funny how apologies can be wordless, even over the phone. We caught up with one another, and then just like that, it was time to hang up the phone and go about our days.

I thought about how often I’ve offended my heavenly Father. I thought about how I’d hesitated to extend forgiveness to her, even when forgiveness and grace have been lavished on my life. It occurred to me that my forgiveness is the most sincere gift I’ve ever given this woman for Mother’s Day.

I hope this doesn’t come off as arrogant, but I did a holy thing today. I imitated my Father as best I could, and I felt the joy of being united with Him.

I am so grateful to have a Father who speaks grace over my life. I am so grateful to know the One who teaches us the texture of forgiveness.

Shalom, dear friends.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Officially declaring Friday “Secretly Listen to Terrible Hip-Hop at Work Day.”